By Cindy Barnes Kolbe
 |
| The author, Cindy with her daughter, Beth |
Please note: This piece originally appeared on TheMighty.com, a platform for people with disabilities, diseases and mental illnesses to share their stories. We are reprinting with their permission.
A disturbing hashtag is circulating on Twitter: #BetterDeadThanDisabled. A closer look
identifies the tag as a protest of the Me Before You movie that opens
June 3. It is based on the fiction book by JoJo Moyes with the same title. The
main characters are Lou, a young woman who can’t believe that she is
falling for a man in a wheelchair, and Will, the other half of the love
connection. He decides to end his life when a spinal cord injury leaves him
quadriplegic, with all four limbs impaired.
“Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.” Viktor
Frankl wrote this passage in Man’s Search for Meaning. He
describes prisoners in Nazi concentration camps who found a sense of purpose through
selfless acts to lighten someone else’s load, despite brutal conditions. However, the opposite is also true. The same sense of purpose can elude us in the best
of times. Regardless, connections always matter.
Newly-injured quads and their families have extensive resources available, from top rehab centers to peer mentors from the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation. From local chapters of United Spinal to helpful websites including AbleThrive, Facing
Disability, Push Living and mobileWOMEN.org.
MeBeforeYou implies that quadriplegia is the
“worst” disability, a dead end for the helpless and hopeless. Negative
stereotypes add to the reasons why suicide is one of the top three causes of death
for quads. Society and the media de-value
and dismiss disability with pathetically low expectations. At the same time, the movie publicity for Me Before You proclaims #LiveBoldly, a sad irony for a story about suicide. Millions of people will see a movie that ends with #BetterDeadThanDisabled.
It is impossible to make accurate assumptions about an individual with a disability. When my daughter was first injured, I observed other patients and privately debated the pros and cons of a stroke to a spinal cord
injury, paralysis to a missing limb, a brain injury to blindness. It seemed important to me that others knew Beth had a “severe” disability—whatever that means. Not any more.
Without negating real challenges, I believe that positive connections matter more than limitations.
Life is a gift, not a tragedy. I choose to support media that features successful
and happy quads, because they are everywhere—except in a starring role in Me Before You.
Cindy’s blog is at www.strugglingwithserendipity.com
Cindy’s blog is at www.strugglingwithserendipity.com
No comments:
Post a Comment
We would love to hear from you! Please become a member to comment. Thank you!
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.